Outgrowing the “List”

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”
-Bob Marley

Like every year, February ushers with itself an entire week of love along with a gentle gush of spring breeze. While we slowly wave the chilly winters goodbye, we bring to ourselves reminiscence and self realisation about love.

If you ask me, I have been the hopeless romantic all my life. My romanticism never solely revolved around dating. It was more of self love, be it pampering myself at a salon, buying flowers, cooking, travelling or reading a book. But when it came to men, I realise how much I have matured over time. There used to be a time when I had a list of traits for the “Perfect Guy” embedded in my head. I admit to have broken hearts because back then, the younger me would go by that list, trait by trait. I remember the list to be shallow and superficial. As luck would have it, when I fell in love, it was anything but from the list and then I realised, the idea of Perfect was Utopian and absurd. Love does not come with a combination of a “Channing Tatum” face and a “Johnny Depp” personality. It happens to a beautiful heart and most importantly, to someone who loves you for what you are and not what they want you to be. I learnt that I could love fiercely, irrespective of what was ticked off the “list”. Rather, the list ceased to matter and everything that the guy was became perfect.

Unlike every year, I would be spending Valentine’s Day without the guy (he now lives on the other side of the world), but what matters most is the fact that I have finally outgrown my list. I would be celebrating the love that exists irrespective of perfection and pre conceived ideas, the love that barrs distance, religion, gender, age and everything else that the so called society defines.